This is a book by Rinzai sect monks (published in 2005, 9800 yen). Although it is a thick book of 400 pages, it explains its contents in an easy-to-understand manner while giving an example. There may be a bad image in “How to control …”, but it explains how to get “fascination as a human being”.
Human Fascination is beginning to be a relaxed, mind-to-heart margin is important. Throughout, episodes of “Young Toyotomi Hideyoshi” and “Honda’s Soichiro Honda” full of human charm are introduced.
The Secret of Human Control
“Fascination is caused by giving and destroyed by demand,” he declares, and that this is the secret of human control. In a simple example, people who are good at getting rid of money are liked, and stingy people are disliked. Not only money and material things, but also in everything, regardless of the tangible or intangible impulses related to human instincts, the person who gives it becomes more attractive, and the person who asks for it decreases the charm.
Instinctive impulses include (1) survival instinct, (2) group impulses (demand to be a member of group), (3) self-importance, (4) sexual desire, and (5) curiosity. It is not limited to things, but also by giving the other party what the other party wants, not only tangible or intangible, and human fascination increases.
If you are bright and cheerful, you make the others feel happy. It’s brightness and cheerfulness also has a positive impact on the opponent, which leads to an increase in his appeal. On the other hand, even if you are an excellent human resource, if you are gloomy, you will have a negative impact on your surroundings, so your attractiveness will decrease dramatically.
Sense of self-importance
In the midst of instinctive impulses, a concept that does not put much effort into raising it, is a sense of self-importance. Self-importance is important in the world, and this importance is emphasized in Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”
People who are beating others or bragging themselves are always conscious of a sense of self-inferiority that is hard to erase by themselves. By beating the others, they feel their superiority and feel their self-importance. They want to brag about themselves and recognize their self-importance. This temporarily satisfies their sense of self-importance, but the other person feels bad and their attractiveness to themselves decreases dramatically.
A few successful people are those who first fulfill their sense of self-importance on their own, and then give the others generous strength to satisfy and raise other people’s sense of self-importance.
“I want to live a life fun. In order to do that, it can be a lot of fun just by taking care of a few points.” The author was died in 2011. I will be going to be a bright and cheerful person after reading this book!